Practice riffing session #1!

Today we did a fun little riffing lesson over skype and google docs, which everyone present ended up participating in! We thought we would share the results of that with you all. We'll probably do more "practice" riffing lesson sessions in the future, so if you'd ever like to participate, let us know!

For this practice session, we worked on chapter four from Atlanta Nights...

Andrew Venice parked his car on the street in front of the house and doublechecked the address he had written down on a slip of paper. Yeah, this was the place all right. It was an ordinary house, on an ordinary street.

Sora: Little did Andrew know, that he had just entered...THE TWILIGHT ZONE!
Linkara: *points to the ceiling...music cue*

There was nothing special about it, just plain. Nothing here looked like it might be connected to murder or assault or anything like that.

Linkara: Because that doesn’t sound guilty or anything.
Terra: Little did he know that the police tape had been ripped down just a few minutes earlier.

Richard Isaacs, the man he’d come to interview, were a stock manipulator,

Linkara: Both of his names count as a person.

and you’d think he’d live in a fancier place, a nicer house, on a better street. But since he was also a police informant, maybe he wanted to keep a low profile, not do anything to stand out. Not exactly like the witnesses' protection program, but not all that different.

Sora: So...it is like the witness protection program?
Linkara: Well, if everyone already knows he’s a police informant, there’s not really a point, is there.

Or maybe he just wasn’t that good at manipulating stocks.

Mina: Or maybe he just failed, period!

Venice would try to find out, in addition to finding out what he really came here to ask about.

He put the note on the front seat, and his sunglasses in the glove compartment, checking his reflection in the rearview mirror and smoothing back his hair. Turning forty was hard.

Fawful: That’s as many as four tens. And that’s terrible.
Sora: It’s like having to turn twenty...TWICE!
Linkara: Or turning ten four times!
Mina: If he thinks forty is bad, wait until he gets to forty one! The humanity~!
Terra: Or turning five, EIGHT times.
Isa: Can... we let this joke go?
Mina: *to Isa* You’re no fun.

He didn’t know what he’d been planning to do at forty, but he was damn sure this wasn’t it. Oh well. It was his job, and he was the one to do it. He’d better get going, ask his questions, make his report. Then he’d have time to stop by the gym later, work
out a bit, fight off the ravages of time.

Linkara: A little known fact about the common treadmill - it doubles as a deadly weapon.

He was still in his prime, even if he had to work harder to maintain it.

Fawful: The Optimusbot can be of great difficulty to maintain. Very sophisticated roboting.

Getting out of the car, he looked both ways, then shut the door and used the key
fob to lock all the doors. It wasn’t a bad neighborhood or anything like that, but he still
didn’t want to take any chances.

Sora: Some kids might come by and throw eggs at his car or something!
Linkara: Yeah, locking your doors isn’t going to prevent that.
Terra: At least he remembered to look both ways.

He let a minivan go past, then an SUV,

Mina: Then a truck, then an airplane, then a Saturn V rocket...

then he walked around the front of his car and up the long sidewalk to the porch. A bench sat on the porch,

Linkara: Blocking the front door.

the kind you might sit on and drink some lemonade, but it didn’t look used, like
nobody had had any lemonade to drink there for a while, or maybe they just didn’t like
the porch or something.

Fawful: Or maybes they just had the using for alcohols, because the ade of lemons is for childrens.

Isaacs probably had to keep a low profile anyway. He wasn’t
the kind of guy who spent a lot of time outside making friends with the neighbors.

Linkara: Unfortunately, that didn’t stop Wilson from talking to him over the fence.

Venice went to knock on the door and stopped.

Mina: He hadn’t spoken to Florence in years, and no one talked about Rome anymore.

There was a flyer lying on the welcome mat.

Mina: And he was DEAD!

No, it was one of those bags of advertisements they paid neighborhood
kids to deliver, one of those circulars. There was a cardboard box full of them just off to
the side of the door.

Sora: Right next to the copies of grit and the girl scout cookies that had been left on the porch.
Mina: Andrew: The FIEND! He ordered Trefoils!!?
Isa: You cannot trust a man who doesn’t like Thin Mints.

He picked up the new one and held it in his hand as he knocked on
the door with his knuckles, loud enough so anyone inside could hear him but not
pounding or anything like that.

Linkara: For pounding, he used his head.

Watching his reflection in the storm door, smoothing the
lapels on his suit jacket so he’d be sure to look nice, the door opened.

Isa: The door was very vain...

Richard Isaacs were the man who answered the door.

Linkara: Both of him!
Sora: It’s like this book is taking place in some kind of alternate past tense.
Isa: Maybe he had split personalities?

He looked over Venice wondering who this guy was at his door, and what he was doing there.

Sora: Building canals around your houses!

Venice got into
his pocket and pulled out his wallet, flipped it open to a show hid badge.

Mina: …’show hid badge’? What’s a hid badge?
Fawful: It is what you are getting when you beat the Ninja Pokemon Gym!

“Hi, my name is Andrew Venice,” he said cheerfully, like there was nothing unusual about him showing up there in the middle of the day.

Fawful: Because clearly it is better to be bothering others at night time.

“I’m here to ask you a few questions. It’s no big deal.”

Linkara: Name, quest, and favorite color.
Liz: Green! No, yellow--aaaaaaaagh!
Sora: Where were you and what were you doing on the night of September 23rd?!

That was just what Venice wanted him to think, Isaacs thought. They always said
it was no big deal when they were trying to nail you.

“I found this lying outside your door,” Andrew said. “You want it?”

Mina: I mean, you know, I’ll help you bury the body before the police come...

What was this guy trying to do, being friendly to him? “No, just toss it there into
the circular file,” Isaacs pointed.

“Toss it into where?”

Mina: The landfill outside town, DUH.
Terra: Toss it into the circular file as opposed to the triangular one.

“That box right there beside the door,” he said, pointed to the box. He was
getting mad.

Sora: And you won’t like him if you don’t throw his trash into the right box!

“It’s not a circle, it’s more of a square,” said Venice. “Or a rectangle maybe.”

Mina: Or a rhombus!
Terra: Or a hexagon!
Mina: Or an octagon!

“It’s a joke, all right?”

Kuzco: Geometry is never funny.

Now Issacs was really really mad. “I put the circulars in
the circular file.”

Linkara: THE NAME. OF THE MAN. ON FIRST. IS ”WHO”. I TIRE OF YOUR GAMES.

But that crazy Venice guy just offered it again.

Mina: Yeah, he was just insane! And off his meds...

“You sure you don’t want it. They got good deals inside, could save you some money.”

“Just throw it away. I wish the kids would stop delivering them.”

“Hey, listen,” said Venice, sticking his hands into his pockets. “I don’t have all
day here.

Linkara: *as Venice* That’s why I’m wasting everyone’s time asking stupid questions!

I’m on an investigation. I came to ask you some important questions, and I
want some answers.”

Mina: Like where this dead flyer came from!
Sora: Can you move a couch for me on Saturday?
Terra: Because the answers aren’t in the back of my math book.

“I don’t have to answer anything you ask!” Richard Isaacs replied forcefully. He
wanted to make a point.

Sora: So he started sharpening a wooden stake.

“Are you going to stay out there on the porch and scare off all
the neighbors or you going to come inside?”

Terra: Well it’s not Halloween so I guess sitting outside on the porch scaring kids is out of the question.

“I’ll come inside and ask you my questions there. I want to ask you about Margaret Eastman.”

Sora: What’s her relation to Sarah Westman?

Issacs knew he was going to be regretting this later. But he said, “Come on inside” anyway. Even though he didn’t want the guy inside. But what were you going to
do? That’s what they expected from you once you got messed up with the police. But he didn’t have to play their game.

Venice walked into the living room, not sure what to expect. Something about Isaacs didn’t add up right.

Terra: Then again, he was better at geometry than addition.
Mina: Issacs was made of integers and fractions! They never add up if you don’t convert them correctly!
Liz: And this is why you need to stay in school.

Either he was living in a plain house in this plain neighborhood because of frugality, because he was cheap, or there was some other reason.

Mina:...Why can’t he just be cheap AND frugal?
Fawful: Isn’t that how anythings can be? It can be one reason... or another reason!
Isa: Apprearently not....

He couldn’t figure Isaacs out, like there was something he was hiding. Even though Venice knew he was in his mid60s, he looked more like a tough guy than a stock market expert.

Mina: Maybe he’s in high yield tech bonds, ever thought of that?

He had broad shoulders, and a narrow waist, muscular. His cheeks were ruddy like he spent a lot of time outside in the sun and the wind. Damn genetics. Some people didn’t have to work for anything and had it all anyway.

Linkara: And some people were Hiltons.

He didn’t look like a guy who had just turned 40 and needed Viagra to get it up anymore.

Linkara: So turning forty really is hard!
Isa: *facepalm*
Liz: And I thought MY puns were bad.
Isa: ALL puns are bad.
Linkara: All puns are equal! Some are just more equal than others.

But Venice wasn’t here to feel sorry for himself. He had a job to do. And it was time to do it.

Mina: Yup, time to beat the crap out of little kids and steal their lunch money. Viagra’s not cheap!
Linkara: *cues Mission Impossible music*

Isaacs sat down in the brown reclining chair with a plop, in front of the bigscreen TV, and he pointed to the couch. “Why don’t you sit down,” he suggested, like a man who meant it?

Mina: I don’t know! Who don’t you sit down?

Venice wasn’t going to let himself be pushed around that way by some informant.
“I think I’ll stand. This’ll just take a few minutes.”

“So get started already!”

Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!

Isaacs would be glad when this interview was over so
he could watch his football game. “You follow the Falcons at all?”

Liz: I always lose them around Endor.
Mina: Falco’s people!
Terra: I’m more of an Eagles chaser myself.
Linkara: Definitely Vikings.
Liz: PACKERS!
Linkara: ...we talked about this. *pointed look*

“I’m not really a football fan,” said Venice,

Mina: HOW can you NOT be a fan of Falco!?
Liz: Have you TALKED to the guy, Mina?
Mina: …Oh yeah, never mind. GO EAGLES...wait...maybe the Lions?

although he split a pair of season
tickets with his brother-in-law, went to half the games. He looked at the TV for a second,
trying to spot Bill in the crowd. Bill was married to his little sister, Leslie, he adored
Leslie. Bill was a great guy, just the kind of guy he’d rather be spending the afternoon
with. Then he thought he sounded like some wuss for saying that, so he added, “I think
the West Coast offense really ought to open things up for Vick though. They should
make the playoffs next year.”

Mina: ...Did we suddenly start reading another book?

“Yeah,” said Isaacs, passionately. He loved football. He didn’t mind all the
damn questions now so much, not if this Venice character liked the Falcons.

Sora: Unwanted interrogation is okay if it involves football!

“So you
wanted to ask me about somebody, some Mary, Maury . . . ”

Mina: Povich! And today, EXPLOSIVE DNA TESTS!

“Her name is Margaret Eastman,” Venice said.

Sora: She’s from up north.

His veins turned to ice at the
mention of her name. Things like that shouldn’t happen to a young woman like her.

“Who is she?” Issacs asked.

Mina: She’s...Margaret Eastman...

“Yeah! Who is she?” The door to the kitchen slammed open and in walked the
most beautiful woman Venice had seen today, or maybe in a week.

Sora: *as beautiful woman* I’M Margaret Eastman now!
Terra: Venice had a very short memory when it came to these sorts of things.
Mina: He was a goldfish in disguise.

The more he looked at her, more he thought maybe in a lifetime, but he didn’t have a whole lifetime of experience yet. But she was incredibly beautiful. Her eyes burst with curiosity.

Mina: STAND BACK, her lips might explode next!

Or maybe it was jealousy.

Linkara: Or maybe it’s Maybelline!

She was older, for a beautiful woman, maybe 40, maybe the exact same age as Venice.

Terra: What is with this author and the age of 40?
Isa: He’s having a midlife crisis.

She was wearing a bra under her tight blouse and she was wearinglipstick too,

Liz: Have you heard of my new band, Wearinglipstick?
Mina: Oh, I’m a fan of your previous band, Doublechecked, myself.

and he couldn’t help staring at her. Her hair was pretty too, like it was made out of silk, just that kind of shiny.

Terra: So he notices the fact she’s wearing a bra first...there’s not really a lot of details on anything else.
Liz: Boobs are the highest priority.
Linkara: This chapter was originally published in Playboy.

“Hey Monica, we need some privacy to discuss business,” says Isaacs. “It’s just
man talk, nothing you’d be interested in.”

Terra: *as Isaacs* Go back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.
Mina: *as Monica* No, I want to seduce your friend first!

“If it’s another woman again, you bet I’m interested,” she said, adjusting her
breasts to make them stick out more.

Mina: *as Monica*: Adjusting breast brightness and contrast...changing breast hue...there we go, now you can see them perfectly!
Terra: Saving that to bpegs.

Venice was still staring at her, he couldn’t take his
eyes off her, and she was looking at his eyes, like she was touching herself for him,

Mina: …....ewwwww......
Liz: You SURE this isn’t a porn?

to be prettier for him. He couldn’t believe it.

“I don’t know who she is,” Issacs said, and he was regretting inviting Venice into the house again.

Sora: Of course, all his streets are flooded now.

“You sure you don’t know anything about her?” Venice asked.

Monica stared at him with her lips making a little red pout.

Fawful: Big green pouts have less appeal.
Liz: Better than little purple pouts.

“If I knew anything about her, you can bet I’d let you know,” she said, slapping Issacs on the top of his head.

Liz: *grins at Linkara* Look familiar?
Linkara: *nothing. but. facepalm.*

“Ow!” he said, grabbing the top of his head.

He looked at Venice again and said “I said I don’t know her or anything about
her.”

“She was the nurse at the hospital where Bruce Lucent recovered from his
automobile accident,” Venice said. “She’s really beautiful, like you wouldn’t believe.
She has brown hair.”

Terra: Is she saying the brown hair is a deterrent to the beauty?
Linkara: Wait, does brown hair mean you can’t have a significant other? *looks at Liz*
Liz: *looks back*
Linkara & Liz: Naaaaah.

“I know you like women with brown hair, you two-timing jerks,” Monica said,

Mina: Wait, she’s dating Venice too? Huh??

she was hitting Isaacs on the top of his head again, and he jumped up and yelled.
“Stop that, I said I don’t know anything, and I don’t know her!”

Sora: *as Isaacs* I WAS IN AUSTRIA DURING THE DATE!

“I could show you pictures,” Venice said.

Sora: --But I’d have to charge.

He had a lot of pictures of her, but he
didn’t want to share all of them, not with this scum.

Linkara: One or two, however, were perfectly okay.

“It might help your memory some.”

“Listen, buddies,” Isaacs said.

Mina: *as Issacs* You and that dead flyer get off my lawn!

“You came here, so you take what you get and
leave.

Linkara: I should’ve changed that stupid lock! I should’ve made you leave your key!

I said I don’t know anything, I don’t know nothing, that’s all there is to it.”

“Why don’t you take me?” Monica purred at him.

Sora: *as Monica, singing* To...FUNKYTOOOOWN!

“Hey now, I don’t like that,” Isaacs said, and now he was mad at all of them for
ruining his day. He was mad enough to hurt somebody.

Mina: *as Issacs* I’m five seconds away from feelin’ like a MAN!

He’d killed a man before one
time, with his bare hands,

Linkara: I killed a man. With this thumb.

and he could do it again, if he put something in his bare hands
like a knife or a gun or something that he could kill somebody with.

Artemis: If he can kill with his bare hands, why does he need a weapon now?
Mina: It was a bring your own weapon Wednesday.

Venice sensed trouble ahead, but he wanted to see more of Monica. He had the
sense though that they were just ships passing in the night, that she was just some
temporary liaison of Richard Isaacs,

Sora: Tonight, on AMC...’Temporary Liaisons’!

probably just another cheap tramp or something like
all the others. Maybe she could be different, but it wasn’t going to be in this lifetime, not
with him.

“Well, if you don’t know anything, I guess I’ll be going,” he said.

Walking down the sidewalk, the car waited for him at the curb. He stopped before opening the door and looked back up at the house. He saw Isaacs standing in the
window frame looking back at him. Somebody was hiding something here, but Venice
knew he was a bulldog.

Sora: Wait, the whole city turned into a bulldog?!
Mina: Well, we know he isn’t a tiger...

He’d get to the bottom of it yet.

And it didn’t matter who got hurt along the way, cause he was going to find out
the answers.

Isa: Let’s just hope he doesn’t hurt the guy who had the answers.
Mina: No, don’t hurt Bill Nye!
Linkara: You leave Wilson alone!
Mina: But he’s dead already...